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Thursday, December 04, 2008
Those who know me well enough know that words of encouragement are one of my languages of love. Simply put, words mean a lot to me.
I do realise that it is biblical to be very weary of what you say, and that it's not just a personal thing. But in the past couple of years, I have really lived out the difference between saying something negative and something positive.
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.
[Proverbs 18:21]
Recently, I've had an experience in this. I was looking through my student account on the university website and found that one unit was still appearing on the screen. And I remembered someone telling me that if you've completed the units but they still appear on the screen, it would mean that you've failed them.
Naturally?
I panicked.
And I had the dates mixed up as to when the results would be released, so I thought it was on the day that I was checking it. Even more naturally, I rambled about it on and on and on to those close to me. And this was what I said...
If I fail this unit, I would have to redo it. My parents would have to pay for another year of study, because this unit is completed over the course of 2 semesters. I wouldn't be able to graduate with all the other people in my class. And I won't even be able to imagine the shame I would feel for explaining over and over again to people who will be asking why I'll be staying for another year.
The truth of the matter was that the results were only gonna be released a week from then. And in all probability, it would've been that the administration just haven't gone through the records for all the students yet. Because I checked with 3 friends, and 1 of them said that all her units have gone off the screen - which was what made me panic even more - and the other 2 had the same unit still appearing.
What I did eventually realise, as I looked back on the situation, was that in all my panic-stricken insanity, I somehow influenced other people into thinking the same thing - that they, too, were gonna fail. And the Holy Spirit just inspired me, by showing me how I can be just as influential by saying and thinking the positive.
It's nothing like being fluffy, irrational, and ridiculously optimistic. It's about speaking into your situation and saying what God says about it. Faith is both believing and speaking. Even when you get saved, the Bible says you have to believe in your heart and confess with your mouth. I'd like to think of believing as the ammunition, and speaking as releasing it right on target to produce the results.
I believed that God is my Jehovah Jireh, and spoke out for a car to come. And it did. I knew that I had wise counsel in the Holy Spirit when I was thinking of quitting my job, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. I asked that my housemate would have an impactful experience when she came with me to Hillsong, and she got saved.
Many people have got the believing part right. But they can believe till their faces turn blue and still not put their faith into action. And we all know what God says about faith without works. I remember telling the youths back home my favourite part of that verse.
But someone will say, "You have faith, and I have works." Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
[James 2:18]
So it was a really good learning experience for me. Do I know for sure if I have really passed or failed? No. But I do know that how I influence people doesn't change, and I'm responsible for that. They don't need another person telling what the rest of the world is telling them. They need someone to say what God says.
I am who God says I am.
I have what God says I have.
I can do what God says I can do.
Posted at 12/4/2008 9:17:22 am by esskay
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Tuesday, December 02, 2008
No, this isn't a tag. Just thought it might be fun to say things about myself that I don't think many people know about.
1. I like my eggs scrambled.
I love eggs. Love them no matter how they're cooked. But scrambled's still the best. All the better with a dash of cheese on top.
2. I don't believe in making my bed.
Yeah sure, give me that classic lecture about doing such things to learn how to be a good wife. And I totally agree. But the "why make it when you're gonna sleep in it again anyway" logic still stands for me.
3. I put more tomato sauce on food more than the average person.
In fact, I put tomato sauce on food people don't usually put it on. Yeah, back home in KL - where the sauces at McD's are freeflow - I'd have at least 3 overflowing saucers of it. One for the burger, and at least two for the fries.
4. I need total darkness in order to fall sleep.
Of course, it is with the exception of when I'm dead tired. But other than that, even if someone leaves the hallway light on, I'd get annoyed.
5. I never have an all-time favourite colour.
It's pretty much happens in phases. Like last year, it was royal purple. Currently, it's turqoise. Quite interesting to see the manifestation of it in my wardrobe too. Hehe...
6. I take quite a while to brush my teeth.
I brush each section twice. Sometimes feel a bit bothered if I don't, coz I'd think my teeth are less clean otherwise.
7. I take ages to paint my nails - at least 2 hours.
I'm quite bad at it AND I get really fussy if there's so much as a nick on them. So then, I'll wash it off and redo it, hence the lengthy process.
8. I prefer the dark haired and blue eyed look to the blond haired, blue eyed look.
Love the contrast.
9. I love lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and just letting my thoughts float wherever.
Quite a waste of time, some may think, but it's my way of unwinding and chilling out.
10. I still play dress up in my room now, even at the age of 22.
Not that I still play make believe, but sometimes I just wanna find out if that dress still fits. Or when I have a random thought about whether that shade of eyeshadow matches that other one.
So there you go. Might be the first time some of you got to pick my head. We'll see if there's more where those came from.
Posted at 12/2/2008 8:18:51 pm by esskay
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Wednesday, November 19, 2008
Malaysia versus Australia
And the battle begins...
Heaps of people have been asking me oh too often, "Why go/come back to Malaysia? Isn't it better in Australia?"
Yes.
And no.
Just thought I'd list a few FYI's for comparison - some silly, some serious.
Australia's water is yucky. It's salty. They put way too much mineral in the process of treating it. Was rather unbearable when I first got here. Those who know me well enough know that I appreciate a good glass of water. And in this case, Dad's insistence on the whole family drinking RO water must've contributed to my accustomed preference for it.
Can't say that I'm a fan of some bits of their culture here too. Inasmuch as I respect their values of being independent and being your own person, I wouldn't want to live or raise a family in such an environment. Friends tell me, "I can't live with my parents anymore. They said I have to make my own way from now on." Or, "Yeah, I do live at home. But I have to pay rent." Or even, "I haven't gotten an allowance since I was 12."
I see the point. But I'm not liking the outcome. So the cycle continues. There's news all over the country now that seniors can barely survive on their monthly pension - having to pay rent, buy food, handle medical expenses, transport. My first thought is always, "Well, what about their kids? Don't they know about this? Can't they help?"
Independence. Me and mine. Pah.
It's not all that bad, Sorry if I seem like I'm painting such a gloomy picture. I like the fact that the oceans and rivers are actually able to reflect the clear, beautiful blue sky. I don't have to look at it and can't help but think it looks like the hot drink I had for lunch. And people here really flunk their driving tests because of the stringent protocol - not because some fat policeman hasn't got extra cash stashed in his pocket. Speaking of which, public service officers here look really fit and presentable. Sometimes even hot. Hehe. Yes, even the bus drivers.
Now where was I. Ah, yes.
I guess the biggest factor of all in my decision to return to Malaysia would be that all my loved ones are back there. My family. My friends. My home church. Would things be different if they were all present here? Definitely. But they're not. Hence 
I would like to clarify, though, that I'd still like to keep my options open. Yes, the first choice would still be to go home, find a job, work for a couple of years, and then maybe pursue a Masters of Industrial/Organisational Psychology. But I don't think it would be wise to burn any bridges at this point. And for the first time in my life, I'm actually okay with not knowing yet. I know who's gonna take care of it and tell me when I need to know. Guess that's all that matters 
Posted at 11/19/2008 10:51:41 pm by esskay
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Tuesday, October 28, 2008
If proximity were to be operationalized by the amount of time spent with someone...
...then Mr. Thesis would be my best friend
Posted at 10/28/2008 3:28:17 pm by esskay
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Thursday, October 23, 2008
Forget the knight in shining armour, riding on a white horse, coming to your rescue and the like.Who needs that when you have...... this.
I love the smell of independence
*inhales*
Posted at 10/23/2008 3:50:08 pm by esskay
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Thursday, October 02, 2008
27 more days till the very last assessment of my undergraduate career.
90 more days till the year 2008 comes to phenomenal end.
138 more days till I step up on that stage, with my mortarboard-geared head held high, and that scroll in my hands.
156 more days till I leave the Land Down Under and kiss the grounds of Kuala Lumpur.
So exciting...
Yet, anxiety-provoking.
Posted at 10/2/2008 10:07:38 pm by esskay
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Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man avails much.
[James 5:16b]
I love how the New Living Translation puts it.
The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Things started getting hard when Edwin - my co-leader for the Curtin Connect group - decided to go back to Singapore for 3 months. He was our designated driver (i.e., he was the only one with a car. Haha!)
That pretty much left us having to ring people up all the time, to see who could pick us up to go to church and take us home thereafter. You see, church is up north of the river, so not many people who attend live south of the river - where we are, the students who can't afford to have cars. And public transport may not always be the solution because the bus only comes every hour on Sundays (that is, if it comes at all). It would even be less of a solution on Wednesday nights, when we have our Young Adults services, because safety is a big issue here in Perth.
And I do mean it when I say that I am so appreciative of all the beautiful people who have been willing to go out of their way to come get us and take us back. But they have their own lives, and their own schedules to keep up with, hence making them unavailable sometimes. There must be a better way to do this.
So I thought to myself. Okay. I've had it with this. If anyone's gonna have to step up to want to drive these people around, it's gonna have to be me. Besides, they've been placed in my care, and I want to be responsible for looking after them and meeting their needs.
Talked to Marika. Talked to the leaders. Prayed together. Done.
I prayed for a better way to get a valid driver's license, because the cost of converting my Malaysian one would be at least a few hundred dollars.
Within weeks, the state laws changed and now, I can drive around legally with my Malaysian license.
I prayed for a car to come in, because obviously, I'm not working right now and can't afford to just 'buy one off the rack'.
It was a matter of days, after I officially found out I could drive with my Malaysian license, that Marika rang me up and said they had a car for me. Someone who was working at Community Services in church had a spare car lying around in his garage and was willing to lend it to me till I go home in March.
The total cost for this amazing miracle? Zilch.
The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
[James 5:16b]
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
[Hebrews 4:16]
If you ask anything in My name, I will do it.
[John 14:14]
What's your excuse?
Posted at 9/23/2008 5:07:31 pm by esskay
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Monday, September 22, 2008
Finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.
Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.
For we do not wrestle against flesh and blood, but against
principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of
this age, against spiritual hosts of wickedness in the heavenly places.
Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand.
[Ephesians 6:10-13]
Standing for righteousness.
For truth.
For this generation.
Posted at 9/22/2008 5:48:30 pm by esskay
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Wednesday, September 03, 2008
You know those music videos of your favourite artist bobbing around in the recording studio, belting out their latest hit, having all the fun in the world?
Yeah. That so totally does NOT happen! FYI, studio recording is anything but fun, people! Coz behind it all are retakes, more retakes, and (yup, you've guessed it) even more retakes!
For those whom I have yet to inform, the STAND Young Adults band at Victory Life Centre are making a CD before the Empowered to STAND conference, coming September 20th. The CD will include 2 original songs and 1 of Marika's messages. We'll be putting it in everyone's conference packs.
And it's back to me not liking the studio.
If I hit the wrong chord or note.
Retake.
If I go off tempo.
Retake.
If we suddenly think of adding or trying something new.
Retake.
If the pressure I applied was not even throughout the whole song (coz it's important when they mix it in with the other tracks).
Oh you genius. RETAKE!
It's a totally different feel altogether, recording in a studio versus playing live. Everything's rigid. You don't get to express much in your playing, coz you'll leave that to the people who'll be mixing it. You'll feel so alone, coz you're only playing to a click track metronome, instead of having the full band with you.
But hey, that's just me.
Posted at 9/3/2008 12:34:58 am by esskay
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Friday, August 29, 2008
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