- s H [a] R o N -

One Month Later

Tue, 07 Apr 2009 17:31:02 GMT

So it's been a whole month since I've come home.

No, I haven't gone on a food excursion because I've felt so deprived for an entire year.

No, I haven't shopped till I dropped. This and the no-food-trips might come as a surprise to many.

No, I haven't started job-hunting (yet!). But I did find out that I'm worth between RM2200-RM2500 as a fresh graduate, should I decide to enter into the HR field. But that's another matter altogether.

Quite contrary to the many assumptions people have made of me since my return, I am actually on a break - and I'm loving it.

Some people may think it's a waste of time. Some may deem it unproductive. But I am certainly an advocate of rest and would much rather do this than rush into doing something I would eventually feel unhappy with. Plus, it's during these times that I find myself learning so much, figuring things out, and preparing myself for what's coming my way.

I love breaks. I may never get this fresh-out-of-university-yet-to-land-a-job phase ever again

I Hate Goodbyes

Wed, 25 Feb 2009 15:27:57 GMT

I don't like saying goodbye! Not that I love anyone any less...

But can I just sneak off and not have to look like a doofus, tearing in front of everyone?!

Please?

Love Stories

Thu, 15 Jan 2009 07:28:57 GMT

I've never been a fan of cheesy, happily ever after, sappy chick flick movies. That's probably why I tend to overgeneralise when I see another lovey dovey movie hit the silverscreen.

But then I've come to realise that there are certain exceptional ones out there. Nicholas Sparks' works definitely take the cake for being exceptional. They're not cheesy or predictable. They're deep and moving. They take you to places that show you how profound love can be.

In A Walk to Remember, Landon does everything he can to fulfill all that Jamie has ever dreamt of doing before her life ends. In The Notebook, Noah spends his every day, reading to Allie the love story that she wrote of him and her - in hopes that she would, but for a moment, remember who he is. I'd recently seen P.S. I Love You, and I'm telling you, I don't recall ever tearing so many times throughout a movie before. Holly loses her husband to cancer, and finds out that before he died, he had arranged for a love letter to be sent to her every single day after he was gone.

Such beautifully crafted love stories they are. There is, however, one question that I never fail to ask when I get to the end of them all...

Do guys like that really exist?

I Can Officially Graduate Now!

Wed, 07 Jan 2009 03:36:12 GMT

Just got the grade for my thesis last night - after a ridiculously long wait! Yeay! Fell short by one mark of what I targetted, but my overall average is still good. Can't complain Plus, it meets the benchmark of getting into Masters, should I decide to pursue that one day. So now that the "checklist" is complete, I can officially get down and dirty with all the graduation-related redtape.

I'm so excited! I think I now see how all my graduate friends felt when their time came. It's such an accomplishment. You feel a great sense of achievement. And I can't even begin to say how thankful I am! For the opportunities, the honour and privilege to complete this milestone. How He just took charge and made all things possible. How every need was met at a level which was more than I could ask for.

To more victorious journeys ahead.

Thank You, Jesus

Once was Lost, but Now is Found

Sat, 27 Dec 2008 02:42:41 GMT

Not me, silly!

The Friday afternoon before I left for the Young Adults Christmas party, I went to the library to use the internet. I kinda procrastinated a bit too much for my own good, and still hadn't sent the pictures from my Brisbane and Sydney holiday to Mum and Dad yet. Don't even get me started on why I can't use the internet at home. Grrr...

Man, the new LCD monitors they've put in there are huge! Even bigger than my tv. Which was totally awesome, but I felt like I was gonna eventually be blinded for sitting there too long.

Oh whoops, got a bit distracted there. Yes, went to the library and I had my external hard drive and earphones with me. Thought the earphones would be good if I wanted to watch videos on YouTube and not be a nuisance to everyone around me. And being the lazy person that I am, I just stuffed them both into my bag, causing their wires to get all coiled up. So you couldn't take one out without consequently fishing out the other.

Eventually untangled them, plugged the hard drive in, and left the earphones on the table - just in case I wanted to use them when I was finished with sending the photos. Gosh, the whole process took ages. By the time I was done with the photos, it was already time to go home and get ready for the party. Even planned on leaving at 3, but ended up rushing through it all, and still left at 3:20.

So yeah, went home, got ready, went to the Christmas party and had an awesome time playing mini golf. I won by the way! Haha, loved the look on the boys' faces when they lost to a girl. Anyway, I got home that night to call Mum on Skype and realised that my earphones were nowhere in sight. Checked my bag, the drawer I usually put them in. Couldn't find them.

Then I thought, oh maybe I left them at the library - which I seriously hope I didn't, because it would either mean that someone else could've taken them or the cleaning lady might've vacuumed it up if it was lying on the ground. Kept looking around the house, but still had no luck. Went back to the library the next day, but it was closed because it was a Saturday. It would normally be open every day, but because it's during the semester break, they close on weekends.

Darn it. Had to wait till Monday, and that would increase the chances of me not finding it. But I didn't have much of a choice so... Went back again on Monday, and there it was! Right where I left them! Untouched, unmoved. I would've skipped around and done a little dance, if it wasn't a library full of people who would think I was insane. Totally made my day!

I'm sorry if it seems like I've written an entire epic saga just on the tale of my missing earphones. But I think you pretty much understand how much free time I have on my hands now. Hehe...

Waiting Around

Tue, 23 Dec 2008 06:03:10 GMT

Yup. That pretty much sums up my current status. You won't believe how applicable it is to the many aspects in my life now.

I've gotten all my grades for my units already - except for my thesis. The official date for the release of results was actually December 10th, but now they're saying it'll have to wait till after Christmas. I was told that they've actually finished marking them already, it's just a matter of putting them up there - which will not be anytime soon because all the staff are off for their Christmas-New Year's break till January 5th. So yes, waiting around to see if I am officially graduating.

No news, unfortunately, from any of the places I applied to for a vacation job either. Felt a bit bummed out at first, but the free time has really allowed me to think through lots of things. Things I never even realised before. So that's been really good. But some extra cash to pay for the Christmas shopping would be great too! Guess it'll have to wait till after New Year's. All things work for good for those who love Him and are called to His purpose =))

Still waiting on further directions for where to head after this. Kinda involves a whole lot of variables, really. Like my grades. Finances. Doesn't help that I haven't actually figured out what I wanna do for the next few years either. Have never really had that problem before. Suppose everyone always has first's. But I'm also learning to enjoy the process of finding out, tuning into Him and relying on Him more and more.

Waiting around. Not such a bad thing, if you maintain the right attitude to wanna learn every step of the way. And I know that's one thing that never ceases in life.

But the meek shall inherit the earth,
And shall delight themselves in the abundance of peace.
[Psalm 37:11]

I Came. I Saw. I Conquered.

Sun, 07 Dec 2008 15:48:27 GMT

Hua hua hua!
Poor Nora

W.O.R.D.S.

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 01:17:22 GMT

Those who know me well enough know that words of encouragement are one of my languages of love. Simply put, words mean a lot to me.

I do realise that it is biblical to be very weary of what you say, and that it's not just a personal thing. But in the past couple of years, I have really lived out the difference between saying something negative and something positive.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit.
[Proverbs 18:21]

Recently, I've had an experience in this. I was looking through my student account on the university website and found that one unit was still appearing on the screen. And I remembered someone telling me that if you've completed the units but they still appear on the screen, it would mean that you've failed them.

Naturally?

I panicked.

And I had the dates mixed up as to when the results would be released, so I thought it was on the day that I was checking it. Even more naturally, I rambled about it on and on and on to those close to me. And this was what I said...

If I fail this unit, I would have to redo it. My parents would have to pay for another year of study, because this unit is completed over the course of 2 semesters. I wouldn't be able to graduate with all the other people in my class. And I won't even be able to imagine the shame I would feel for explaining over and over again to people who will be asking why I'll be staying for another year.

The truth of the matter was that the results were only gonna be released a week from then. And in all probability, it would've been that the administration just haven't gone through the records for all the students yet. Because I checked with 3 friends, and 1 of them said that all her units have gone off the screen - which was what made me panic even more - and the other 2 had the same unit still appearing.

What I did eventually realise, as I looked back on the situation, was that in all my panic-stricken insanity, I somehow influenced other people into thinking the same thing - that they, too, were gonna fail. And the Holy Spirit just inspired me, by showing me how I can be just as influential by saying and thinking the positive.

It's nothing like being fluffy, irrational, and ridiculously optimistic. It's about speaking into your situation and saying what God says about it. Faith is both believing and speaking. Even when you get saved, the Bible says you have to believe in your heart and confess with your mouth. I'd like to think of believing as the ammunition, and speaking as releasing it right on target to produce the results.

I believed that God is my Jehovah Jireh, and spoke out for a car to come. And it did. I knew that I had wise counsel in the Holy Spirit when I was thinking of quitting my job, and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I have ever made. I asked that my housemate would have an impactful experience when she came with me to Hillsong, and she got saved.

Many people have got the believing part right. But they can believe till their faces turn blue and still not put their faith into action. And we all know what God says about faith without works. I remember telling the youths back home my favourite part of that verse.

But someone will say, "You have faith, and I have works." Show me your faith without your works, and I will show you my faith by my works.
[James 2:18]

So it was a really good learning experience for me. Do I know for sure if I have really passed or failed? No. But I do know that how I influence people doesn't change, and I'm responsible for that. They don't need another person telling what the rest of the world is telling them. They need someone to say what God says.

I am who God says I am.

I have what God says I have.

I can do what God says I can do.

Random Facts

Tue, 02 Dec 2008 12:18:51 GMT

No, this isn't a tag. Just thought it might be fun to say things about myself that I don't think many people know about.

1. I like my eggs scrambled.
I love eggs. Love them no matter how they're cooked. But scrambled's still the best. All the better with a dash of cheese on top.

2. I don't believe in making my bed.
Yeah sure, give me that classic lecture about doing such things to learn how to be a good wife. And I totally agree. But the "why make it when you're gonna sleep in it again anyway" logic still stands for me.

3. I put more tomato sauce on food more than the average person.
In fact, I put tomato sauce on food people don't usually put it on. Yeah, back home in KL - where the sauces at McD's are freeflow - I'd have at least 3 overflowing saucers of it. One for the burger, and at least two for the fries.

4. I need total darkness in order to fall sleep.
Of course, it is with the exception of when I'm dead tired. But other than that, even if someone leaves the hallway light on, I'd get annoyed.

5. I never have an all-time favourite colour.
It's pretty much happens in phases. Like last year, it was royal purple. Currently, it's turqoise. Quite interesting to see the manifestation of it in my wardrobe too. Hehe...

6. I take quite a while to brush my teeth.
I brush each section twice. Sometimes feel a bit bothered if I don't, coz I'd think my teeth are less clean otherwise.

7. I take ages to paint my nails - at least 2 hours.
I'm quite bad at it AND I get really fussy if there's so much as a nick on them. So then, I'll wash it off and redo it, hence the lengthy process.

8. I prefer the dark haired and blue eyed look to the blond haired, blue eyed look.
Love the contrast.

9. I love lying on my bed, staring at the ceiling, and just letting my thoughts float wherever.
Quite a waste of time, some may think, but it's my way of unwinding and chilling out.

10. I still play dress up in my room now, even at the age of 22.
Not that I still play make believe, but sometimes I just wanna find out if that dress still fits. Or when I have a random thought about whether that shade of eyeshadow matches that other one.

So there you go. Might be the first time some of you got to pick my head. We'll see if there's more where those came from.

Malaysia versus Australia

Wed, 19 Nov 2008 14:51:41 GMT

And the battle begins...

Heaps of people have been asking me oh too often, "Why go/come back to Malaysia? Isn't it better in Australia?"

Yes.

And no.

Just thought I'd list a few FYI's for comparison - some silly, some serious.

Australia's water is yucky. It's salty. They put way too much mineral in the process of treating it. Was rather unbearable when I first got here. Those who know me well enough know that I appreciate a good glass of water. And in this case, Dad's insistence on the whole family drinking RO water must've contributed to my accustomed preference for it.

Can't say that I'm a fan of some bits of their culture here too. Inasmuch as I respect their values of being independent and being your own person, I wouldn't want to live or raise a family in such an environment. Friends tell me, "I can't live with my parents anymore. They said I have to make my own way from now on." Or, "Yeah, I do live at home. But I have to pay rent." Or even, "I haven't gotten an allowance since I was 12."

I see the point. But I'm not liking the outcome. So the cycle continues. There's news all over the country now that seniors can barely survive on their monthly pension - having to pay rent, buy food, handle medical expenses, transport. My first thought is always, "Well, what about their kids? Don't they know about this? Can't they help?"

Independence. Me and mine. Pah.

It's not all that bad, Sorry if I seem like I'm painting such a gloomy picture. I like the fact that the oceans and rivers are actually able to reflect the clear, beautiful blue sky. I don't have to look at it and can't help but think it looks like the hot drink I had for lunch. And people here really flunk their driving tests because of the stringent protocol - not because some fat policeman hasn't got extra cash stashed in his pocket. Speaking of which, public service officers here look really fit and presentable. Sometimes even hot. Hehe. Yes, even the bus drivers.

Now where was I. Ah, yes.

I guess the biggest factor of all in my decision to return to Malaysia would be that all my loved ones are back there. My family. My friends. My home church. Would things be different if they were all present here? Definitely. But they're not. Hence

I would like to clarify, though, that I'd still like to keep my options open. Yes, the first choice would still be to go home, find a job, work for a couple of years, and then maybe pursue a Masters of Industrial/Organisational Psychology. But I don't think it would be wise to burn any bridges at this point. And for the first time in my life, I'm actually okay with not knowing yet. I know who's gonna take care of it and tell me when I need to know. Guess that's all that matters